Ticket in hand, I was on standby. Hearing about a lot of other cancellations and closures due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I wasn’t sure if Matthew Good’s March 12, 2020 concert would be cancelled. Of course, part of me could ABSOLUTELY NOT wait for the show, but the other part of me was dreading the exposure to public transportation and a crowded concert hall.
Concert a go!
The concert was on. I said goodbye to my family as they bid me safe travels.
Meridian Hall, Toronto
I always try to arrive in time for the opening acts because it’s a great chance to discover new music. The supporting bands that evening were Ellevator (Instagram: @ellevatorband) and Born Ruffians (Instagram: @bornruffiansmusic). I never heard of either band, but was really impressed with the unique music style of both. Also, the singer of each band have really fresh unique voices.
Ellevator is based in Hamilton, Ontario. The band’s singer, Nabi, is a soft-spoken person on the mic, but man – when she started to sing, her vocals blew me away. She occasionally sat down on the stage during her songs, commanding the audience in a different way. When they first came on stage, I was reminded of old high school band days (maybe because they look young). But be warned – they do not play “elevator music”.
I had a chance to chat with Nabi briefly at the merch table after the concert. I asked her when she first started to sing and she said since she was very little. Nabi has this really amazing aura surrounding her. I have been enjoying my new CD for the past few days. Check out their music!
Our very own Torontonian band! The guitarists are absolutely wild and a pleasure to watch. Luke, the lead singer, has a powerful and very fresh voice, and was super-animated on stage. I don’t know if he ever found his glasses that he dropped while jamming on the guitar…Check out their music too!
There are no words to describe the moment MG comes on stage and delivers his first vocals. It happens at every concert of his that I attend. BAM! A chill runs a mile a minute through my body and I am like “OMG”! Short for Oh my gosh or Oh Matthew Good!
Matt’s performance was beyond incredible as always. His music has been part of my life for about 20 years. Where has the time gone? Did I mention that he’s Canadian? I love Canadian music. In fact, most of my favourite artists are Canadian: Matthew Good, Moist, Neon Dreams, Ria Mae and newly added, Craig Stickland.
Matt recently launched his album, Moving Walls, which includes songs such as One of Them Years, A Momentary Truth, Beauty, Sicily and The Heights. It was amazing to see him perform songs from this album in concert. The songs have a whole new meaning to me now.
Matt is a lyrical genius, sings like a male angel and is talented to the max. He’s a songwriter, singer and guitarist. He also speaks publicly about mental health and his own bipolar disorder and battle with depression.
Yes…Matt, this, Matt, that…I just love him!
If you haven’t had a chance to listen to his music, I hope you find some time.
Rest of Tour Postponed
Right after the show, Matt posted on Instagram that the rest of the tour would be cancelled due to the virus. He wrote that people DM’d him with anger that he irresponsibly did not cancel that evening’s concert. It must have been a really tough decision for Matt not to cancel, considering the circumstances. But on that note, I feel like I caught the last train. If I die, I will die happy.
Matt also played one of my favourite songs from his album, Something Like a Storm. It’s called Something Like a Storm. It was wild on the stage.
Here are a few of my favs from Moving Walls: Selling You My Heart and A Momentary Truth
Of course one of his classics: Load Me Up. The crowd went crazy for this!
In this thing called life, music transcends life. Not sure if that makes sense – but it sounds good 🙂
To be honest, I never heard of Craig Stickland until October, 2019, when the Richmond Hill Centre for Performing Arts announced his name together with Neon Dreams (as opening acts for Tyler Shaw). That evening, all of the artists put on an awesome show and later came out for an amazing meet and greet. I find that meet and greets are the ultimate part of a concert experience – as it’s a chance to make a connection between the music you listen to and the musician(s). Some artists are particularly interactive when it comes to social media as well. From my personal experience, Craig and Neon Dreams take the time to interact with their fans, which makes them really down-to-earth and personable.
Typical me, when my writing bug comes out, I write about everything new that I experience. However, it took me some time to write an Instagram post about Craig’s performance after I first saw him in concert, because I needed time to digest it. During his performance he played mostly rock songs that I couldn’t really relate to, but I was blown away by his last song, Break Every Rule. That song really showcased his powerful and soulful voice.
Craig has this intangible quality to him – a certain vulnerability and old soul wrapped into a rugged yet sexy “stereotypical” rocker (wink, long hair, goatee, t-shirt, black jeans and black leather jacket). Craig left me wanting more. I was so happy when he announced that he had an album in the works.
Release of Starlit Afternoon
Craig just recently launched his album titled, Starlit Afternoon, on February 28, 2020.
I listened to his album the morning it was released. My favourites so far are: Starlit Afternoon, Break Every Rule, Good Love and Stop at Nothing. If I were to take a stab at Craig’s album music style, I would say it’s a mix of alternative rock, with a touch of country, jazz, blues and soul.
Craig was born in Vancouver then moved to Toronto when he was 3 years old. He is currently living in Los Angeles where he continues his modelling and singing career. Craig discovered his passion for music when he was about 16 years old. He picked up his first guitar when he was 16 years old and was the singer in his high school band. Finally, after finding his true passion in life, he released his first EP titled, Leave me to the Wild, which includes songs such as Break Every Rule and Tears in the Rain.
Craig has toured with some amazing Canadian talent. To name a few: Tyler Shaw, Alessia Cara and Matthew Good.
Me: Craig – I am so excited and honoured that you agreed to an interview with me. Thank you for taking the time for me and your fans.
Congratulations! You just released your new album titled, Starlit Afternoon on February 28, 2020. I read that the last song, Good Love, on your album took about five years to write. What part of the process took the longest? And how did you finally “let go” and decide that it is complete?
Craig: The part of the process that took the longest was finding the right production to match each song. When a song is written it can be produced any number of ways, and the experimentation until I was satisfied is what took so long. There’s a gut feeling when you know something is done. You also need to trust your friends and collaborators.
Me: I only recently discovered that you are multi-talented. You are a songwriter, singer, guitar player, piano player, actor and model! Do you have any other interests/talents? Being a musician is quite different from modelling – what would you say was the “turning point” in your life, where you decided to become a musician?
Craig: I decided I wanted to be a musician in high school when there was a band that needed a singer. I auditioned, got the role and was hooked. Recently I’ve been very into designing and making furniture as well. I started a studio furniture company with a close friend called @callusandco.
Me: I love that you are so real. In one your Instagram post’s you mentioned renting out your apartment as an Airbnb, so that you could afford to keep touring/working on your music career. I messaged you if that was the life of a musician, and you replied, for some. With this in mind, do you have any tips or words of advice for people who are considering becoming a musician?
Craig: Everybody’s path is different, but I’d say there’s no substitute for hard work and dedication to your craft. Unless you get incredibly lucky very early on, you’ll have to make sacrifices in order to continue pursuing your dreams. My journey is coming up on a decade and a half, and I just put out my first album.
Me: Your white van seems to be a huge part of your life. You coined some of your songs as part of the “The Van Sessions” (Very creative by the way!). For some reason your van reminds me of the one in Scooby Doo! I enjoyed watching your YouTube video (see video below) where you were building the interior of your van to make it liveable and Canadian winter-proof. I am sorry to say that I was chuckling when you were cursing in your video 😊 What is it like to live out of a van? Do you ever feel claustrophobic?
Craig: I really like living out of the van and I do feel claustrophobic at times, but only when my van isn’t clean. It’s taught me a lot about living simply, focusing on minimalism and being organized.
Me: I know that life inspires your music. What was your inspiration for Starlit Afternoon?
Craig: I’m always inspired by my personal experiences, feelings and emotions. The daily things I go through in life, that we all experience in some form or another. I try to find the best expression of that and create it into a song.
Me: Other than meditation, how do you manage all the stress that you are going through? It couldn’t have been easy touring and trying to finish your album at the same time.
Craig: If I don’t center my day with a workout, I feel stressed. I’ve been really into daily journaling as well and making furniture keeps me in a very present mindset.
Me: Please also finish this sentence (lyric from Phil Collins’ song, Groovy Kinda Love):
Craig: “When I’m feeling blue…all I have to do is sing a tune.”
Me: Very cool. I wish I could sing. Is there anything else that inspires your music?
Craig: Other music, or often times a powerful film or documentary.
Me: So many of my favourite musicians are Canadian: Matthew Good, Moist, Neon Dreams and Ria Mae. I love my music like crazy! But I recently discovered that I had no idea what type of music my family and friends listened to. I find that knowing what type of music people listen to is enlightening and tells a lot about that person. Who/which bands are your top 3?
Craig: I’ve recently been incredibly into Frank Ocean. Coldplay is one of my favorites especially after touring with them and seeing them live every night, and John Mayer was a huge influence when I was coming up.
Me: I am really enjoying your new album. I think you would be happy to hear this: My daughter always shuts down my music the moment I start the music in the car. When I was playing your album for the first time, I told her I could sing Break Every Rule. Suddenly she turned off the music. I was like What the hell?! -thinking she was shutting me down again. Turns out she was waiting for me to continue singing your song. Then she actually turned the music back on. But of course, that now that she’s heard your album once – it’s turned off again.
When will you be touring again?
Craig: I’m pretty much always on the road at some point or another, although I don’t have a tour booked at the moment, I’m sure something will come through with the release of my album!
Me: Is there anything else you would like your fans to know about you and/or your music?
Craig: I think you covered it all, thank you!
Me: On that note: Craig, you can sing to me any time. I hope to catch one of your Toronto shows soon. Thank you again for being so open to this interview and your time. You are super-talented and not to mention – gorgeous! I hope everyone discovers your music soon. Best of luck with your new album.
***** END *****
A few of my favourite tunes
In this thing called life, you never know what could happen when you just ask. Like this interview!
This post is dedicated to Frank Kadillac of Neon Dreams (www.neondreams.ca), as it was inspired by him.
What is pure happiness? What is innocent happiness?
Do such things exist? If yes, do they still exist? I sure like to think so.
A short while ago, I wrote an Instagram story about the days of innocent happiness (as a child) (pictured top left). You can’t tell from the photo (me on the left), but I was carrying my favourite small pillow in the fabric carrier tied around my chest. I can actually remember that moment. I was happy. No other care in the world.
After I created my IG story (pictured top right), the creative juices started to flow and I knew I had to get off the couch and write a post.
Here’s the story…
Ever since I met Frank Kadillac and Adrian Morris of Neon Dreams at Tyler Shaw’s concert (they were the opening act) back in October, 2019, I have been listening to and digging their tracks. Check out the video of one (among many) of my favourite songs, “If not now, when”:
Anyways, in this song, one of the lyrics go “I wanna make you smile like in CPH”. It was driving me crazy what CPH meant. Was I that old that I didn’t know that acronym – OMG! LOL! I Googled it, thinking that maybe it was a drug. Finally, I decided to send Neon Dreams a DM.
Frank explained that it was a place where he was happy. I won’t reveal this place in case he wants to keep it private. Of course, I then start to think about myself…was there a place where I was truly happy?
I couldn’t come up with any specific place, but thought that maybe certain events would stand out. Often happiness is paired with other emotions, so our happiness becomes muddled. Pure happiness is something special. The best I could come up with was my recent trip to Killbear Provincial Park. I have an inflatable two- person kayak. When I got in my kayak and left the shore, I could feel the sun shining on me. My kayak supported by the waters of the Georgian Bay. The majestic Georgian Bay rock formations stretching in the distance on my right. My destination was a small island not far from the shore. I was so excited. With every paddle towards my private island, I was smiling. I was so happy. Nothing could bring me down.
Life jades us
Not being able to quickly recollect a “pure happiness” moment makes me a bit sad. Life really jades us. Think of our daily grind. Work, work, work, pay bills, eat, exercise, sleep… I know you are feeling stressed now! Unfortunately, life consists of good and bad things – seems like more bad things sometimes, don’t it? Like how my car broke down when I was about to go to the gym…
Take home message
I think the goal is to make every happy moment count. Dream about your happy moments often. And even better…create more happy ones!
In this thing called life, it’s important to cherish the happy moments and like Frank – remember that there are happy moments. Cheers!
For as long as I can remember (probably since high school), I wanted to write and publish a fiction novel. More than ten years ago, I started writing one. I never made it past page 35. Why not? Well, my storyline and characters were not developed enough and I couldn’t figure out how to go further. In my head it was a great suspenseful book!
In 2017 (the year Canada celebrated its 150th), I was inspired to write and illustrate childrens’ books about Canada. In 2018 and 2019, I published three: My Great Canadian Adventures and my series – Winter Moose Visits Montreal and Winter Moose Visits Alberta. Check out: www.CanadianAdventureBooksbyMonica.com
I loved that experience and will continue to work on my Winter Moose series, but I still long to publish a novel.
Ding! An idea.
I knew I wanted to write a fiction book based on my parents’ lives, because their stories are so crazy and unreal. But again, the problem was, I didn’t have my “catchline” to get me going. Suddenly when I was driving one night in February 2019, I had my “Eureka” moment – the first sentence of my book. That first sentence was all it took to start the brain gears turning. I am more than half-way through my manuscript now.
While I knew my general story line, spinning a whole story out of it would be a challenge. I realized that I had to breakdown the task, by brainstorming and jotting down my preliminary ideas down on paper. The writing process can be overwhelming and daunting – but rewarding too. If you ever read, David Usher’s “Let the Elephants Run”(a great read by the way) – when faced with writer’s block, David recommends that you just start writing. In my interview with my friend, Tony Wong (writer for the Toronto Star), he suggests the same thing: “My advice is just to start writing. Get something down on paper. It might not be your best stuff, but good writing is really in the re-writing.”
Is reading the same as writing?
I don’t think so. Even though I have read so many books, I found that writing is something different altogether. When I was trying to organize my chapters, I realized that I had no idea how to do it effectively.
I am by no means an expert writer, but I did some research online about novel writing. Here are a few things that I found really useful to keep in mind when writing my own novel.
10 things that I keep in mind when writing
Draft an outline for your book. Spend some time jotting down some rough notes about your storyline, story setting, mood and characters. When I read the first short chapter of my book to my 6 year-old, he asked me to stop because it was “too scary”. That means that I was successful in setting the “mood” through the choice of my words. You can update your outline when you feel you need to build your story more.
Don’t be over-wordy. Unless you really need to be wordy, keep your sentences as concise as possible. Example: The spring flowers looked really lovely with the sun shining brightly on them. Try: The sun shone brightly on the lovely spring flowers.
Keep sentences short. Run-on sentences like the example above are not only hard to read, but are hard to follow as well. When reading books with long and overly detailed sentences, I find myself needing to re-read. Often I set aside those books because I can’t get past the first chapter.
Work on catchlines. English is a great language as each word means something and can convey a deep message. Here’s a line from one of my poems titled, A Whisper: “time is like the steam rushing to escape the kettle…only to be left with none.”
Create cliff-hangers. Cliff-hangers are not only for the end of a book in a book series. Make your reader want to flip the pages quickly by creating suspense at the end of each chapter.
Develop your characters. Write down as many characteristics for each person as possible. Think about their temperament, passions, weaknesses, etc. It could be helpful to write down a description of what your character looks like physically and to explore their nervous habits or movement (such as jerkiness).
Chapter character revelations. Your protagonist can go through ups and downs every chapter. Maybe at the beginning of a chapter you think they are succeeding, then at the end, there could be a set-back – or vice versa. For example, a shy girl is overjoyed as she overcomes her stage-fright during the rehearsal, but then she finds out that she is cast out of the play.
Create a suitable environment for writing. Find your own space. Pick a time of day that you can channel your creative juices.
Copy edit. You can ask a trusted friend to read your finished manuscript. You may not want to do this too early in the process, as the expectations may be too high. There are professional copy editors as well, who for a fee, can provide you with a lot of excellent feedback. I found that copy edit was a very important part of my childrens’ book publication process. My grammar is not as good as I thought!
Don’t beat yourself up. If you haven’t written as much as you hoped for, or get stuck – just give yourself some space. Find some inspiration. Then get back to work.
In this thing called life, an idea may strike – but it’s the hard work that produces your final written piece.
Wishing you all a successful and happy year! Don’t forget to pursue your dreams 🙂
Almost every year, I watch the countdown (except one where I fell asleep before midnight) to cheer in the new year.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3…2…1…Happy New Year!
Sure, it might be happy. A set date for a fresh start. New resolve to join the gym, start a new career..or simply to put the negative things from the past behind you. But you probably feel the same way as I do…another year and in this case, a year plus a decade gone by in the blink of an eye. That’s life. There is NO turning back the clock.
I have been writing entries for my blog for over a year now. It has been a great forum for me to communicate and express myself. For me, writing is therapeutic. Plus I enjoy sharing things that I learn from life. Thank you so much to those of you who took the time to read my musings. I appreciate the support.
Why I titled my blog “This Thing Called Life”
I titled my blog “This Thing Called Life“, because life is just there. Everything can happen in this thing called life. Life is constantly changing and throwing things at us. Parts of it we can control, while others we cannot. We just have to deal with life as it comes. I was so inspired by my tag-line that I tattooed it on my leg last year. No matter what crap happens in life, I can sum it up as something that happens in this thing called life. So, it’s ok. I can move on.
In this thing called life, perfection cannot always be achieved. It’s your determination and effort that count.
I dedicate this post to my sister, Annette (Instagram: @showmerockieshikes), her husband, Gabor (@grizzlymedve) and Jonathan Fast (@jonathan.fast). I check out their gorgeous landscape posts whenever I am itching for nature but can’t get out. There is nothing more satisfying and humbling than being at one with nature.
Saying goodbye to 2019
What better way to say goodbye to 2019 than a post about what I love. Below are a few tree photos that I put together. Trees make great “models” – they stay still for the most part and they charge nothing to photograph them. Aren’t trees just amazing?
The photos below were taken from my hikes/travels (including Rattlesnake Point, Killbear Provincial Park, Fernie (BC), Toronto, Forks of the Credit Provincial Park). When I look around, a unique tree or arrangement of trees might catch my attention. It’s important to always have your smart phone (with camera function) with you – as you NEVER know when that special tree will come into your life – kinda like people.
If you have never hiked before, I highly recommend you try it. If you are afraid to get lost (like me), there are usually some hiking groups/clubs that you can join. Or just take a friend.
There are so many reasons to love trees. Below is a list of 10 things that I came up with.
10 reasons to love trees:
they provide life-giving oxygen.
they absorb poisonous carbon dioxide from the air.
their foliage gives shade.
their roots prevent soil erosion.
they give shelter to animals and insects.
they are beautiful and unique.
they tell us the age of the forests that surround them (tree rings).
their forest provides great footage for films.
their beauty inspires writing and photography.
maple trees give sap for making maple syrup.
In this thing called life, you have to take the time to hug a tree, enjoy Mother Nature at her best, and help to preserve the beauty for everyone and future generations.
I am a lover of trees. No joke. I have a bigger collection of tree photos from my travels, but include a few here. Trees are life-giving (oxygen), stand the test of time, don’t talk back, are unique and majestic. Ever try placing your hand on the trunk, closing your eyes and feeling the power of the forest within the tree? If not, I highly recommend it. You will feel a vibration surge through your body – a recharge.
Year-end self reflection
I self-reflect daily, but thinking about year-end always seems to bring up a lot of events from the past. Now it’s DECADE end. That requires even more thought! My son always asks me why I post daily on Instagram/Facebook – and I tell him that it is therapeutic for me, and I like to share with others. Maybe someone out there just needs to hear that they ARE good enough.
Top 5 things to leave behind this decade:
Mean and hurtful words. Mean and hurtful words cannot be taken back once said. Think before you speak. Don’t say them. In my teens my mom basically said I was stupid (because I was not as academic as my older sister who got awards for this and that). In grade 2, I struggled with English (so my teacher let me borrow a dictionary). In my weekly Chinese school, I truly hated and struggled every single year (my friend classmates were witness), but was relentless and made it to Grade 11 (with the help of my friend – “look at my paper”!). In high school my overall grades were passable, but got high 90s in English lol. Got a Bachelor of Arts in University (Major in Sociology). Graduated from a certificate program in Interior design. Got a Law Clerk Certificate. And now, work as a Law Clerk, speaking Cantonese almost every day. The point is, growing up is already so hard. We don’t need to carry a stigma our whole life.
Bullying others. If you have no self-confidence or have personal issues you are dealing with, don’t take it out on others. Growing up people made fun of me for being Chinese and fat. I was a painfully shy kid with a heart, so I internalized everything and it really ate at me. Even relatives were abusive about me being fat. It took me decades to come out of my shell, as well as to not care what people thought of me.
Negative words. If you have nothing good to say, don’t say it. This one is self-explanatory.
Negative thoughts. A new decade is around the corner. Give yourself a break. It’s okay to make mistakes.
Self-doubt. You are the only person who can doubt yourself. When in doubt, pretend you are confident and just do what you set out to do.
In this thing called life, a new year is a chance for a fresh start. Leave behind everything negative!
This post is dedicated to Neon Dreams and those who dare to dream.
I only discovered Neon Dreams (www.neondreams.ca) a day before Tyler Shaw’s concert at Richmond Hill Centre for the Performing Arts, when I got the concert reminder notice and saw they were one of the opening acts. Craig Stickland was the other opening act. As most people would probably do these days, I did a quick Google and started to dance, clap and snap my fingers the moment I listened to their song, About You. Take a listen below.
What’s bonus? They are Canadian!
I am like a big kid at these concerts and LOVED the opportunity to meet all the artists (Neon Dreams, Craig Stickland and Tyler Shaw). My daughter knows I am a suck and teases me about it. This morning, she was like…Adrian…haha!
It was really great chatting with Frank and Adrian about their musical inspiration; and learning what a kick-drum is lol!
Neon Dreams is made up of Frank Kadillac (singer and Eukele player) and Adrian Morris (drummer, guitarist, etc.). There is just something really special about this duo. Watching them on stage was almost a surreal experience. I found it difficult to pinpoint exactly what it was that made me feel the way I do. So, I kept thinking about it…
This is day 3 after the concert and I am still trying to figure it out. I guess it’s a vibe…
But here’s what I did come up with:
Their music is fresh and has an upbeat vibe. What a difference to listen to ‘happy’ music instead of sad love songs.
Frank is totally charismatic and approachable. His smile is heart-melting 🙂
On stage Frank was totally commanding the crowd – we could all feel the energy in the audience. Everyone was having a good time.
In terms of arrangements, the drums were close to the stage (versus in the back) – which really showcased Adrian.
I have always been a huge fan of the sound of drums. Adrian is the best and coolest drummer I ever met. He was just part of the drums. I never heard the array of drum sounds (I didn’t know drums make those sounds) that he played, so it blew me away. He was just bouncing around and crossing his arms to bang the cymbals on the opposite side with amazing power and ease. Adrian makes it look so easy – just for fun I tried to cross my arms the same way, but they are so stiff! What’s a bit embarrassing, he probably noticed me staring at him, because he pointed out that I was in the front row lol!
Here are 2 of my other fav songs so far:
In this thing called life, we never know who or what might inspire us – but it’s important to have an open mind and just go where the wind takes us. Thanks Neon Dreams for giving my brain some stimulating new tunes. Cheers!
Every year around this time I get really depressed. Not just because I will be a year older on September 11th, but I am reminded that humanity has manifested itself into a complete monster. There are daily reminders as well that our world is in chaos and trouble (Amazon rain forest fire, wars between individuals and countries, death and torture of billions of animals for our food, and on a micro-level: individuals bullying others – need I go on?).
The 9/11 attack took place in 2001 in New York City, USA. I remember the day so clearly, because it was my second day at work in a new city and my birthday. One of my colleagues had a portable radio on and she called everyone over when the news came in. It was so unreal to hear that the terrorist planes crashed into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center – killing about 3,000 people.
There is no doubt that humans are geniuses (as evidenced by everything they have managed to create: from inventing the telephone, cars, airplanes, modern science fighting disease and resuscitating the dead and so on) – yet, there is the evil side – greed, corruption, jealousy, hate…
As much as I would like to believe that humanity is fundamentally good and can change – looking at current world events such as the burning of the Amazon rain forest and mass destruction of earth’s inhabitants and the earth- I am not optimistic at all.
But I am just one person…
While you might think that one person cannot effect change – it is not true. There is a ripple-effect that can create positive changes. We are all part of the collective whole.
In this thing called life, we all need to do our part to preserve the earth for future generations. We need to be kind to each other. We need to recognize that animals are here with us and not for us. We need to stop consuming material goods that create the landfill and drain the earth’s resources.
I leave you with just one image: picture all the digging below the surface of the earth (gold, metal, minerals, etc.). Eventually, the top will cave in…
Breaking an emotional tie to food, is NOT a ribbon-cutting event!
For anyone who is an ’emotional’ eater (or a closet eater) like myself – you will totally get this post. Think – munching down a whole bag of chips and/or box of cookies in just one sitting…all without much thought. For myself personally, I eat when I feel stressed or bored.
The guilt that follows is incredible. Yet, it’s a vicious cycle. You feel stressed, inhale the snacks, say you won’t do that again and guess what? YUP…it starts all over again. Not only is your mind affected – but your body as well. Most normal people gain weight when they eat over-processed junk food.
So, now the cycle becomes more complicated very quickly:
You eat junk.
You gain weight.
You feel like crap.
You eat some more because you feel like crap.
Well, breaking our emotional tie to food and re-programming our brain is REALLY hard. Probably one of the hardest things that we ever need to do. I know because I worked on it for almost two years. I was lucky that I managed to breakdown part of my insatiable need to stuff my face. Still working on it because it’s a life-long process for me.
How did the tie get so strong?
Long story short, if I psycho-analysis myself, it started when I was just a kid. I learned that if I wanted to eat something, I could eat unlimited quantities. My grandmother allowed me to eat steak after steak because I liked the taste. It didn’t help that we worked at my parents’ convenience store with tons of candy, chocolate, chips, popsicles, etc. at our fingertips. Anyway, needless to say, I had lots of cavities and gained too many pounds. As I was growing up, I was made fun of for being fat. The lack of confidence and stress continued the negative cycle of over-indulging.
Break it down!
My very first blog back in November 2018 was about my experience with the Freshii 3-day juice cleanse. I would say this was the ‘beginning’ test of my willpower. I chose the 3-day cleanse because I knew I could not survive for 5 days.
I highly recommend trying a juice cleanse. One of the guys at Freshii said he managed to quit smoking after a 5 day cleanse. It really helps to reset your brain. Mind over matter.
It was really, really hard. But I did it. My mental willpower could barely stand up to the overwhelming want to grab and eat everything. It was so hard sitting with people who were eating food while I was cleansing.
I know we all have our stories why we are “psychologically” dependent on food. But I do believe that occasionally, we just need a re-set. Something to test our strength and ability to control what we eat – and indirectly, take control of our lives. I say this because I believe an underlying issue for a lot of things in life (for me weight gain) is about not feeling like we are in control of our lives. Working at getting to the root of the problem is also recommended.
That was then, this is now
Recently, I decided my body needed a boost of nutrients and a rest from eating solid foods. I have followed a vegan diet for over 8 months now, so the extra attention to my meal planning and preparation has helped to fight off my food’s mental grip on me.
I decided to do the 3-day cleanse again, but slightly modified. Basically, I drink 3 juices (breakfast, snack and lunch) and eat a generous salad for dinner.
I am on day 1. This time around, I have absolutely no issues with drinking my juice in lieu of eating solids. It’s a breeze taking a juice instead of a meal. I don’t even need to think about what to eat! I am also enjoying the feeling of not over-eating – especially at dinner.
Tomorrow is another day
I envision myself getting a badge or token for job well done. But the reality is, it’s another day of resisting the urge to conquer the bag of Lay’s Original chips (my fav BTW).
In this thing called life, you have to treat yourself as a pet-project. Try different things until you find something that works for you. Good luck on your own quest to cut the ties…